Sometimes back, I was watching some TV series and suddenly my phone buzzed. For the next few minutes, I was reading my email and just received some technical assignments to complete. Within minutes I started coding and focusing to meet the deadline. Suddenly, my mom came and called me to have lunch.
“Just a second.” – I said.. And I started working without changing my focus.
She came after two minutes and said, “I don’t know in which planet; a second is equals to two minutes.” I didn’t respond. She called my name again and again with increasing volume.
Suddenly, I snapped. “I TOLD YOU TO WAIT A SECOND,” I yelled. For a brief moment, I was no longer the gentle and obedient son my mother knew. My yell inspired fear and anger. And I have to close my work and eat the food first.
The next day, the episode repeated itself. I guess everybody must have experienced this type of episode various times in your life. You must have felt you’re an unwilling slave to your emotions. As if you’ve been programmed to react a certain way to a specific set of circumstances, and there’s simply nothing you can do about it? This example demonstrates just how difficult it can be to develop self-control, the ability to manage our thoughts, speech, and actions; especially when faced with what’s known as an emotional hijack or Amygdala hijack.
In 1995, psychologist and science journalist Danial Goleman published a book introducing most of the world to the concept of emotional intelligence: the ability to identify, understand, and manage emotions. One of the concepts Goleman made familiar to the public was that of the emotional hijack (or hijacking).
The emotional circuits of your brain – which are relatively primitive from an evolutionary standpoint, originally developed when dinosaurs ruled the earth – exert great influence over the more modern layers of the brain in the cerebral cortex. They do this in large part by continually “packaging” incoming sensory information in two hugely influential ways:
• Labeling. It with a subjective feeling tone: pleasant, unpleasant, or neutral. This is primarily accomplished by the amygdala; this circuit is probably the specific structure of the brain responsible for the feeling aggregate in Buddhism (and one of the Four Foundations of Mindfulness).
• Ordering. A fundamental behavioral response: approach, avoid, or ignore. The amygdala-hippocampus duo keeps answering the two questions an organism – you and I – continually faces in its environment: Is it OK or not? And what should I do?
The amygdala is a collection of cells near the base of the brain. This is where emotions are given meaning, remembered, and attached to associations and responses to them (emotional memories). The amygdala is considered to be part of the brain’s limbic system. It’s key to how you process strong emotions like fear and pleasure.
Early humans were exposed to the constant threat of being killed or injured by wild animals or other tribes. To improve the chances of survival, the fight-or-flight response evolved. It’s an automatic response to physical danger that allows you to react quickly without thinking. This response is triggered by emotions like fear, anxiety, aggression, and anger.
Meanwhile, the frontal lobes (one more part of the brain) have also been receiving and processing sensory information. But much of it went through the amygdala first, especially if it was emotionally charged, including linked to past memories of threat or pain or trauma. Studies have shown that differences in amygdala activation probably account for much of the variation, among people, in emotional temperaments and reactions to negative information.
We might like sometimes the amygdala’s action to an emergency override of the mind because I felt anxious or threatened, therefore activating my fight, flight, or freeze response. I wanted to complete the task, and Mom was suddenly trying to stop me from doing so. As the amygdala interpreted this as a threat, it provoked an immediate and aggressive reaction.
Simply understanding how the amygdala works is an important step in identifying and learning from your own personal emotional hijacks, as well as developing strategies to deal with them.
The symptoms of the amygdala hijack can be eased or stopped by consciously activating your frontal cortex, the rational, logical part of your brain. This may take some practice and persistence. The first step is to acknowledge that you feel threatened or stressed and that your fight-or-flight response has been activated. Become aware of how your emotions and body react to significant stress. Reviewing an episode after it’s over can help.
I began to feel guilty for yelling at my Mom. So I turned those emotional hijacks into a catalyst for intense thought and reflection and eventually, change.
You know what for every anger or emotional situation, there is a very easy solution,
“Keep calm, listen, and breath.”
It solves half of the problem which causes the amygdala to get hijacked.
This is what is called Emotional Intelligence and its use to help manage your emotions and guide your behavior and thinking. And this is where yoga and Meditation comes in picture and helps.
And hence you achieve Samādhāna.
सम्यगास्थापनं बुद्धेः शुद्धे ब्रह्मणि सर्वदा |
तत्समाधानमित्युक्तं न तु चित्तस्य लालनम् ||
You could write down the worst possible outcome and try to figure out how to live with it. That helps sometimes.
On their deathbed, people don’t regret what they’ve done, but what they haven’t done. I’m not sure how true this is, but it is motivational. If you were on your deathbed how would you feel about task x? Assume you did and didn’t complete it. Would you care?
References:
https://medium.com/mind-cafe/how-to-prevent-an-emotional-hijacking-9a36283aea4b
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sam%C4%81dh%C4%81na
https://www.inc.com/justin-bariso
https://www.healthline.com/health/stress/amygdala-hijack
https://www.alchemyassistant.com/topics/PaT4j2YKrTSMGkN5.html