“Love is a losing game, one I wish I never played.” – Amy Winehouse
A game is a situation where two or more people or groups make decisions that affect each other’s outcomes. Just like in rock-paper-scissors, the outcome of a game depends not only on what you do but also on what the other person does. A game can also refer to any pattern of behavior that involves two or more people, where there is some level of competition or conflict between them, and where there is often an underlying psychological or emotional dynamic at play.
A losing game can refer to a situation where an individual consistently engages in behavior or thought patterns that lead to negative outcomes.
Remember that playing a losing game is not always easy, but it can lead to growth and new opportunities. By focusing on the journey, embracing the challenge, and learning from setbacks, it is possible to find enjoyment and fulfillment in the process.
Similar to love, Thought is a losing game.
Love can be a game in which you might win for a certain amount of time, but if you play the game of thought, you might always lose.
Thought is a game and a highly engrossing one at that. It’s a game, but it’s also a losing game. Thought is a losing game and can’t ever be anything but a losing game, but this is the one thing that we are guaranteed never to see!
When we win in the game of thought we also lose – we lose because winning at the game of thought only ever means more thought (or more thinking), and where’s the advantage in that? We don’t win ‘freedom from thought’, we just win more thought! To win in this game is simply to carry on playing it, which is exactly the same outcome as when we lose it. This being the case, what’s the difference between winning and losing? Why should we prefer one to the other? Why should we believe that one outcome is so much better than the other one?
The implicit promise made by the game is that we will by winning become free from the need to keep on playing it. As Carse says, ‘the contradiction of finite play is that we play in order to end the play’. This is the lure that keeps us tied into the game but is not actually an outcome that will ever come to pass. The game never ends, no matter how skilfully we play it. We can’t become free from the game by playing it!
This is true for all finite games (games of control) and it is true for the game of thought, which is the quintessential ‘finite game’. We can never become free from thought by thinking, no matter how clever our thoughts might be! And yet the paradox here – as in all finite play – is that it is the thinking process itself which puts us under pressure to end the process, or ‘come to a successful conclusion’. The very nature of thought is that we think in order to become free from thought, therefore.
Similarly, Love Too is a losing game. One reason why people think that love is a losing game is because of the vulnerability and risk involved. When we open ourselves up to love, we expose ourselves to the possibility of rejection, heartbreak, and disappointment. Even when a relationship seems to be going well, there is always the possibility that it may not work out in the end. Also, love is too close to thought as in-game dynamics. We can also prove love is a thought in some quintessential way, but it would it very long stretch thing to do.